Here, Master

Here, Master, in this quiet place, where anyone may kneel,

I also come to ask for grace believing you can heal.

If pain of body, stress of mind destroys my inward peace

In prayer for others may I find the secret of release.

If self upon its sickness feeds and turns my life to gall,

Let me not brood upon my needs but simply tell you all.

You never said “You ask too much” to any troubled soul.

I long to feel your healing touch. Will you not make me whole?

But if the thing I most desire is not your way for me,

May faith, when tested in the fire prove its integrity.

Of all my prayers let this be chief: Till faith is fully grown

Lord, disbelieve my unbelief and claim me as your own.

This is a liturgical piece from a hymnal at my alma mater. It was originally written with no music but one morning during our fellowship time at school we sang it. After hearing it the first time I went in search of the band who put music to the words but I couldn’t find it. I found out from one of my friends that someone from school probably put music to it. It saddened me not to be able to have the song on my iPod and be able to listen to it when I began to doubt. 

Just last night something, I still can’t remember what, brought this song to my mind and I did a Google search to try to find the lyrics. A video popped up and I was thrilled to see a student who graduated with me played it during his internship and put the video up on Vimeo. I’ve embedded it below for you. It’s a beautiful, moving and inspiring piece. When doubt threatens to undo me I turn to this piece to remind me of who my Father is.

Luke Suciu :: Special Music from Antioch Church on Vimeo.

A Thousand Gifts: Perspective

The first chapter of Ann Voskamp’s A Thousand Gifts is a poignant set up for what I’m sure is going to be a life-altering read. Voskamp writes with such a raw, heart-breaking honesty I was moved to tears. I read this chapter during the first week of school, while experiencing a challenging transition, and it put things in perspective for me. During this week every fiber of my being wanted to quit, to give up and go home. Everything seemed too hard. Then I read about Aimee’s death. I read about Austin and Dietrich suffering from a terminal disease. I read about the Israelites wandering in the desert eating manna. 

My point of view completely shifted. I realized I was refusing to be nourished by the mystery. I wasn’t looking for God through the holes in my life. I was convicted but even more I was moved to action. I no longer want to clench my fists and say no to God. I accept the dare to live an emptier, fuller life.

“Just that maybe you don’t want to change the story, because you don’t know what a different ending holds.”

Culture Shock: Beyond the Honeymoon

*Disclaimer- this post may seem a bit on the downer side but I wrote in an effort to be honest about the transition to living overseas.*

The honeymoon phase has worn off. I was expecting to last a bit longer than this. I was so excited to be back here and be in a culture I love and miss. Unlike many of the people here I actually am loving the desert heat. But when I woke up this morning those feelings of love and excitement had worn off.

Two days ago I found out (with 30 minutes notice) that I would be substituting for 3 periods because two of the Arabic teachers had quit. Then yesterday I found out I would be substituting for one of the fourth grade teachers because she got food poisoning the night before. It was a welcome change because the students haven't been tested for ESL so I haven't had any students so far this week. But after two days of teaching students I didn't know without any lesson plans I'm a bit worn down.

I didn't have a desire to get out of bed this morning. I want to talk to my family. I miss my friends. The time difference is getting to me. My frustration with the administration hit a breaking point yesterday. Things are different than Oman.

I had a really bad an awful attitude this morning (despite the fact that I'm reading A Thousand Gifts for book club tomorrow).

Then all of my training came flooding back to me. Culture shock is part of daily warfare. Everyday, I need to suit up and shield myself against the flaming arrows coming in the form homesickness, housing frustration and tiring days.

My Father is using this to form me and shape me. He is using this to strengthen my armor, to help me rely more on Him.

He is begging me to surrender. His desire is for me to cling to His grace.

It's hard and I'm not enjoying it.

But daily conversations with Abba are helping. Time in His precious Word is encouraging. I know He'll walk through this with me. I know He'll bring me out of this. I know He is all I need.

Sometimes it's hard to live that way.

Right now it's really hard.

Tomorrow, I'll share how chapter one of A Thousand Gifts has made it a bit easier.

Decorated Classroom (Sort Of)

Yesterday was the first day of school (yes our work week is Sunday to Thursday) and my classroom was sort of ready. Lucky for me I didn't have any students yesterday because the students haven't been tested or evaluated yet. Which means I got to spend a lot of time observing and catching up on work that I've been ignoring for the past few days due to the busyness of school. So here are some pictures (not great quality) of my (partially) decorated classroom. Let me know what you think!

An introductory SMARTBoard presentation...not finished yet

The bulletin board

I'm doing an international themed classroom...this is as many languages as I could figure out :)

Urdu and French

English, Italian, Spanish, German, Arabic 

Ukrainian and Hindi

What will eventually be the multimedia corner

Teacher Desk 2.0

My library

Our class rules

Class Library

Our reading corner

The full bulletin board

Where my superstar students will have their work displayed

Grammar corner :)

My very first official classroom

I haven't figured out how to get rid of the glare from the pictures. Any expert photographers out there who know how to fix it so my pictures have better quality, I would love some advice!

House Tour...Finally :)

As promised I have taken pictures and a video of my apartment. The pictures are from before we got completely settled so it might look a bit different than the video.

I was going to wait to do the video until everything was cleaned up and beautiful but this weekend was so crazy preparing for students that I didn't get the chance. So...please excuse the messiness :)

My massive bed...love it!

My closet (I don't have nearly enough clothes to fill it up)

See?

Bedside table and vanity mirror. I would like to turn it into a desk area as well but I'm not sure how that's going to work.

Half of my bathroom

The other half of my bathroom

The view from my window (that tint is from the glass)

Our kitchen (including the washing machine)

Our stove/microwave/refrigerator

Our entryway/dining room

With a big, comfy couch :)

Our laundry/storage room

Here's the video tour (featuring two of my housemates!)...

What I'm Learning {Teaching Edition}

-Decorating a classroom can be quite a challenge...especially without a fun assistant (*cough cough* Samantha).

-Pay attention when you’re walking in the front door. Meeting times and places may be posted on the front door. Especially, if no schedule was given for the week.

-Contact paper makes a good substitute for lamination when the laminating machine is too small for your posters.

-Making an extra portion of dinner is a great way to make lunch for the following day.

-The first week of school here is very low pressure. The class lists won’t even be finalized to the end of the first week which means I won’t be expected to do much until week 3 at the earliest.

-Being on support staff is fantastic because you don’t have a full class on the first day.

-Getting rid of extra desks should be done on day one of teacher work week instead of day four.

-Finding a theme for your classroom should be done BEFORE teacher work week instead of on day four.

-Bulletin boards are not fun for non-artsy people like me. Finding borders, background paper and accents on the other side of the world is quite interesting

-I’m so excited for the school year to start! I can’t wait to meet all the kids :)

My classroom isn’t quite finished yet and I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to publish things before they’re completely ready. However, I do have the before pictures to give you an idea. 

On that note I still haven’t completely finished my bedroom but I promise I’ll finish this weekend and post stuff next week!

My bulletin board...still decorated from last year

The view from my classroom windows. We'll probably have the shades down most of the time otherwise it'll get to hot!

My very first teacher desk :)

One bookshelf, waiting for the next one.

This, my friends, is a SMARTBoard. Jealous?

My air conditioners, the two most important items in my classroom.

THAT'S ME!

So many desks!

Lots of books...

and more books...

and more books...

and more books.

Posters for the classroom

I'm a fan of grammar

A big fan

Maybe a huge fan ;)

And now a little video tour...

It's going to be a wonderful school year!

Taste of Home {1}

I'm sure throughout this year overseas I'll get homesick every once in awhile. Today, I got to have my first taste of home, courtesy of my family :)

My brother Richie showing me his green shirt

Richie playing around with the webcam

My mom coming to say hi!

JR, Richie's twin, telling me about school (doesn't he seem thrilled?)

JR putting on his thinking face

My step-dad telling me about life back in the US 

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE (did I say it enough?) for you to be a part of my taste of home. Whether it's via email or Skype (we don't have internet in our apartment so response time/scheduling may be a bit tricky) you're welcome to contact me whenever it works for you! I love hearing about what's going on in your life :)

Lots of love,