*Disclaimer- this post may seem a bit on the downer side but I wrote in an effort to be honest about the transition to living overseas.*
The honeymoon phase has worn off. I was expecting to last a bit longer than this. I was so excited to be back here and be in a culture I love and miss. Unlike many of the people here I actually am loving the desert heat. But when I woke up this morning those feelings of love and excitement had worn off.
Two days ago I found out (with 30 minutes notice) that I would be substituting for 3 periods because two of the Arabic teachers had quit. Then yesterday I found out I would be substituting for one of the fourth grade teachers because she got food poisoning the night before. It was a welcome change because the students haven't been tested for ESL so I haven't had any students so far this week. But after two days of teaching students I didn't know without any lesson plans I'm a bit worn down.
I didn't have a desire to get out of bed this morning. I want to talk to my family. I miss my friends. The time difference is getting to me. My frustration with the administration hit a breaking point yesterday. Things are different than Oman.
I had
Then all of my training came flooding back to me. Culture shock is part of daily warfare. Everyday, I need to suit up and shield myself against the flaming arrows coming in the form homesickness, housing frustration and tiring days.
My Father is using this to form me and shape me. He is using this to strengthen my armor, to help me rely more on Him.
He is begging me to surrender. His desire is for me to cling to His grace.
It's hard and I'm not enjoying it.
But daily conversations with Abba are helping. Time in His precious Word is encouraging. I know He'll walk through this with me. I know He'll bring me out of this. I know He is all I need.
Sometimes it's hard to live that way.
Right now it's really hard.
Tomorrow, I'll share how chapter one of A Thousand Gifts has made it a bit easier.
