Guarded Personality

Location: Richardson, TX

God has made us all with a personality. Some of us talkative and outgoing. Others are shy and reserved. Many fall somewhere in between. This is a part of being made in God's image; we have emotions and desires. However, the most important aspect of our identity is being in Christ.

Being in Christ means that our sense of individuality, our sense of importance, our sense of security, our sense of significance should all be found in Christ and Christ alone. When we submitted to Jesus Christ at the moment of salvation our identity became completely rooted in Him. It is only by His power that we can do anything and it is in Him that we have communion with the Father.

As a result, there are times when we must guard our personalities in order to honor Christ. This is especially difficult for me because I like to be outgoing, friendly and fun. When interacting with people it's incredibly difficult for me to learn how to take a step back from the situation to listen.

I want to be heard.

I want to be noticed.

I want to be useful.

I want to be appreciated.

However, there are definitely moments I look back on and see warnings where God was trying to tell me to slow down, listen and guard my personality. This is a part of my testimony, demonstrating respect and honor to others. The verse that comes to mind is James 1:19:

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce righteousness of God."(ESV)

The "quick to hear" part is most convicting to me. When someone asks a question I am usually the first to answer instead of listening to others. I pray that God will continue to work in my life so I can be a better listener...

to God
and
to others

Happy Wednesday!

miscellany monday

Location: Richardson, TX

1. I can't believe I only have until Saturday in Texas! God has been teaching me so much and I love the people here. We had a new group of people come in last night who are a few steps ahead of us in this process and getting ready to leave. I'm so excited to get to know them and hear about their journeys.

2. I'm turning into a bit of a geriatric. Last night I managed to stay up until 9:45 before I fell asleep. Granted I get up around 5:00 to go workout :) I guess I'm turning into a morning person.

3. I forgot how much I love reading, for fun. I've enjoyed all the school books I've read over the last four years but being able to read what I want to read, when I want to read it is so refreshing. I'm trying to make my way through the reading list. My dear friend Annie tried to fix my book suggestion page because as of right now you can't suggest a book. It gave her a hard time so I'm going to try when I have a bit more free time. Until then if you have a book suggestion send me a quick email :)

4. This past weekend was relaxing and fun. The pictures will explain it better than any story I try to tell so:

The weekend began with nap time

Then picnic time!

Then Saturday in Dallas...

At the Ketchup Burger Bar

Mushroom Burger

Brie Burger

Blue Burger

Chicken Sandwich with Pepper Jack Cheese and Avocado

Then FroYo at Yumilicious :)

Silly brother and sister

Sunday after church we had lunch...

And played ninja!

I would love to hear about your weekend :)

Holy Discontentment

Location: Richardson, TX

Today was quite a taxing day at NPO. I worked out like every morning, ate breakfast and headed to the training center. After that we had an eye-opening time of worship. Instead of singing praise music like the other mornings we spent time reading God's Word out loud, without commentary, without preaching. It was a time of reading, listening and meditating. There are many times I've heard Christians say that worship is supposed to be more than just music and today we lived that out. It was so refreshing. I hope I will be able to practice this form of worship again soon.

After a profound devotion on suffering we spent about an hour getting to know the lovely people who work in the US office. Most people don't realize how much work goes into supporting workers on the field. These are accounts, lawyers, communication specialists and caregivers who have chosen to help workers be successful.

The second session began the hard work. It was our language learning session, this included an overview on the language learning policy and a language learning aptitude test. This test was about 30 min and forced us to demonstrate our ability to learn another language both orally and visually. I am so grateful for my linguistics training, otherwise this test would have been impossible. I'm actually finding myself excited to learn the results to help me become a better language learner.

After the test I was completely exhausted and I still had my doctrinal interview after lunch. I had a great lunch with some fellow trainees and staff members. I spent the time between lunch and my interview praying and surrendering the interview to the Lord. He blessed me in the interview allowing me to speak clearly and efficiently to my interviewer. I also had time to ask questions and get some more resources for the future.

Then many of the trainees were finished for the afternoon and we were invited to a session at a different orientation. We talked about the positive and negative aspects of coming back from overseas. It was encouraging to hear other people's experiences. It was during this session when one of the staff members spoke about something incredibly profound: Holy Discontentment.

This may seem like an oxymoron to people who understand the command to count our blessings and be content. However, this staff member commented on how many of the trainees said the most difficult part of reentering the US was the discontentment with the US culture. She said it was this discontentment with the US culture God was using to call us overseas. God put this passion for a different culture than our own in us in order to give us a sense of urgency to serve cross-culturally.

This reminded me of Philippians 1:20-26 when Paul talks about being torn between heaven and earth. His desire was to be with Christ but he knew he had a responsibility to serve on earth. Paul submitted to God's calling in His life. While many of us trainees are as torn as Paul, there are still aspects of living in the US that we will miss. It is ultimately about submitting to a calling from God to work where He has yet to be preached.

It also reminded me of many of the Psalms where David poured out his emotions, good or bad. There were times when he was angry with God and didn't understand God's plan. That didn't stop him from walking with God, rather it spurred him on to have a deeper walk with God.

I want to study this topic further and learn what the Bible has to say about it. However, I have the weekend off :) I'll be relaxing, recharging and probably not blogging.

'Til Monday,

NPO Day 2 & 3

Location: Richardson, TX

Texas is amazing! I am learning so much about God's passion for the nations and how Christar is pursing the same passion. I've been sitting in on seminars about Christar's values and mission, the importance of doctrine, doctrinal issues on the field and church planting essentials. In the afternoons I've been having interviews/meetings with different people and departments. Tomorrow is my doctrinal interview, prayers appreciated!

We had the opportunity last night to have dessert at the house of U.S./International Director of Christar and hear his wife's testimony. It was great to hear how God worked in her life and get to know them better. I also got to spend some time outside of training with the other candidates and Blaze participants. 

All the while, I've been embarking on a journey through an open door God has provided. There is a need for an ESL teacher in the Arabian Peninsula! I'm still in the process of applying and so I don't have many details to share. What I can say is I'm so excited to see how God is going to use this experience for His glory. I would greatly appreciate your prayers as I go through this process. I will continue to update everyone as I get more details :)

Here are some pictures I took yesterday and today (I promise I'll take more soon):

The pool at the hotel with the spitting dolphins

My news devotional 

 The training center door

 My roommate getting ready to sign in for breakfast

Some of my fellow candidates and a mobilizer

Happy Thursday!

NPO Day 1

Location: Richardson, TX

I'M HERE!!!!!!!! 2 flights later, I've made it to Texas and I'm so excited :) These next 10 days are going to be incredible and I've already met some amazing people who are on fire for the Lord.

After being picked up from the airport and driven back to the training center we were greeted by a whole host of friendly faces. I got to see a bunch of people from last summer and felt like I was coming back home. We had a delicious lunch and then spent the afternoon listening to announcements and everyone's testimony.

It was so amazing to hear about how God brought all these incredibly different people to Texas for orientation. Couples, singles, students, we're all here to bring glory to God.

God is good.

Then we got settled into our hotel room and hung out for a bit. My roommate is awesome! We have the same amount of hair products, we like the same music and we're both a little crazy. I know God brought us together to encourage each other and begin a life-long friendship.

I can't wait to see what happens these next 10 days. My schedule is pretty full but I'm still going to try to blog as regularly as I can. I don't have any pictures yet because it's been such a busy day but I promise to have some soon :)

Good night,

miscellany monday

Location: Evergreen Park, IL

1. I leave for Texas TOMORROW!!!!!!! I will be getting up at the crack of dawn to head out. The family I'm staying with is currently in Puerto Rico but luckily a couple from my church has agreed to pick me up and take me out to the airport. My procrastination tendencies are taking over a bit so I still haven't packed but I'll be ready by tomorrow...promise :)

The food at the training center is AMAZING!

2. I've found a place to live! I'm going to be in an a basement apartment in the house of a woman from church. This is such a blessing from God. I'll be closer to work. I'll be closer to church. I'll be in a Christian home. I don't have to sign a lease! It's anything I could possibly ask for in an apartment.

The neighborhood where I'll be living

3. My new obsession is Mock the Week, similar to Whose Line is It Anyway, only there's less chaos, a ton of British humor and they focus on popular culture. There are full episodes on Youtube and I can't stop watching it!

BEST TV SHOW EVER!

4. I'm debating on whether or not I should get a Kindle. I asked my friend Annie and it's obvious you will have to pry hard copy books out of her cold dead hands. However, I welcome other opinions about e-Readers as I make my decision.

The Kindle :)

5. I went summer clothes shopping this weekend and had the wonderful surprise of being able to buy closes one size smaller. I guess going to the gym every morning and not eating college cafeteria food will do that for you.

My new dress!

Have a wonderful Monday!

Uncertainty

Location: Evergreen Park, IL
I think I'm ready to go to Texas. I think I'm ready for orientation. I think I'm ready to go cross-cultural full time.

However...

There's this lingering feeling of uncertainty, not knowing what lies ahead.

The only thing I'm certain of is that God is in control and whatever happens is not outside of His will for my life. Therefore, if I complete orientation praise God. At the same time, if I don't complete orientation praise God. He knows exactly what He has in store for me and it is for my good (cf. Romans 8:28)

Thus, I'm going to cling to the peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7), knowing that God will supply all of my needs (Philippians 4:19). I'm going to take a step forward in faith and rest in the many promises of God. I will surrender my fear to my Savior, knowing that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18) and choose hope. I will completely rely on my Savior and trust in His plan, which is infinitely better than mine. I will choose submission to whatever God desires.

On that note...I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!! God has been working on my heart for months now and I can't wait to see God put the pieces together. If you want to be added to my email update list let me know! (FYI I get to share more in my email updates because I have more control over who reads them).

One of my Sunday School students had her 5th birthday party yesterday :)

How cute is she?!?!?!?!?!

In Christ,

miscellany monday

Location: Old Town, Chicago, IL

1. 8 more days until I go to Texas. I can't believe orientation is already here! I get to visit everyone I met last year during internship training. Now I'll be training as one of their fellow missionaries :) God's sovereignty still amazes me. He is still working out plans and I'm leaning to be patient and wait for everything to fall into place.

2. I love working as a pool attendant, especially in the mornings. I usually get an hour to an hour and a half by myself to set up, clean and then relax. I get to enjoy God's wonderful creation around me and spend time reading, thinking and writing.

3. I might have found a place to live! Everything is still tentative but I'm pretty sure this is the place God planned for me. It's short term (in case plans change), close to church and closed to my jobs. I'm so thankful for my pastor and his family's hospitality.

4. There may be some overseas travel coming up sooner than expected. I don't have enough details to talk about it just yet but look out for coming posts.

5. Sunday School is going really well with the kids. We're hoping to get a couple more teachers soon but it seems that the kids are learning so much. I keep praying that God will continue to encourage the parents to be involved in their children's lives spiritually.

View from the pool deck: