I didn't have the best experience in youth group. This was mostly due to my poor attitude, desire for attention and immense pride. I did not value my parents' wisdom or instruction. The entire world revolved around me. Therefore, I don't think I can look at my experience as the normative one. In addition, I cannot discount all of the benefits from being in youth group. My first exposure to local missions was because of youth group. I made some incredible friends in youth group. I was mentored my some amazing women in small groups. I learned about Moody Bible Institute, my alma mater, in youth group.
However, after talking to my friends in college about their youth group experience and gaining some experience in children's ministry at my church I began to question the purpose of youth ministry. Obviously, no ministry is perfect but there is something about the youth ministry paradigm that is particularly unsettling.
I'll begin by looking at what the Biblical paradigm for children's and youth ministry.
In Deuteronomy, we see the pattern in the Jewish household to be parents instructing their children.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 "Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to posses it, that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all His statutes and commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of you house and on your gates."
This passage demonstrates God wants parents to instruct their children, not only in the home but wherever the family happens to be.
"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."
Not only does God want parents to instruct their children but also demonstrate their faith to everyone.
"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of you house and on your gates."
5 chapters later (Deut. 11:18-21) the same commandment is given. God commands parents to teach and demonstrate their faith to their children.
Another well known passage on the subject is Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Here we see how the instruction of children is vital to a lifelong faith.
Looking at the New Testament Ephesians contains instructions for both parents and children.
Ephesians 6:1-4 "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.' Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
For anyone who claims that Old Testament Law is no longer applicable it is in Ephesians we find the same commandment. God values parents teaching their children in the way of the Lord. He promises long life to those who do.
Furthermore, the life of Timothy is another great example of children being trained by their parents. In 2 Timothy 1, Paul discusses how Timothy's faith has been passed down from his grandmother and his mother.
2 Timothy 1:5 "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure dwells in you as well."
Timothy found faith through his grandmother and mother who instructed him in the ways of the Lord from childhood.
2 Timothy 3:14-16"But as for you continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through Jesus Christ."
Paul commends Timothy's childhood instruction which most likely, based on the beginning of the letter, came from his grandmother and mother.
Looking at the pattern in the Bible it seems that many, not all, of the youth groups in modern evangelical Christianity are missing a piece.
Based on my experience and the experience of my fellow Bible college students, many youth groups are set up to be more of a social event that a time of Biblical instruction. Kids come for the games, the food and their friends. This isn't necessarily bad. It's great that Christian children and teens. can have a place where they can spend time with like-minded people. They can gain support and encouragement from others. But how are the parents involved?
It's very true many parents volunteer in youth ministry. However, shouldn't youth groups be partnering with what parents are doing in the home. I understand there are exceptions, children whose parents aren't Christians, but for those children and students who do come from Christian homes it is vital that biblical instruction comes from the home and is reinforced at youth group. The parents should be seen as the primary spiritual caregivers, not the youth pastors. Biblically, it is the parents' responsibility to train their children.
It excites me to hear more and more stories of youth groups who are following this biblical patterns. It excites me even more to talk to my friends studying to be youth pastors who want to change the youth ministry paradigm as well. I will continue to pray that God will raise up people to address this need. I am also working as the Sunday School director at my church to partner with parents and encourage them to get involved in their children's' spiritual lives. I ask that you pray with me. I would also love to hear about your personal experiences from when you were in youth group or if you're involved in youth ministry now. Comment or send me an email!
Oh and my wanderings today have taken me to work where I suffer poolside:
I agree with you theoretically but also out of my own experience: you know what our youth group was like, and may still be like, and I had a hard time trying to carve out my own little niche. I was in a weird spot, too, then, though: I was skeptical of anything religious that was organized. But I think I've retained a healthy form of that skepticism, even now. After all, Christ comes to overturn a system. And it's not by a system that we profess His name, but by our lives. It's how we act that marks us, not what we do. Does that distinction make sense?
ReplyDeleteI'm the youth minister at my church and there have been times when parents or grandparents have told me that I need to talk to their child about whatever-sin-problem-it-might-be. I wanted to shout to the adults that I cannot parent their children. They have to be the parents.
ReplyDeleteThere are also times when I am the best example of Christ that a student has in his/her life (yikes!). And so I am compelled to take that kind of approach with them. I know that their parents aren't taking any kind of spiritual leadership in their homes so I do.
I would love to see the focus on church ministries gravitate more towards equipping families to disciple their children, of course. But my own mom pointed out to me that many times in my high school years I wouldn't believe/consider/take to heart things that my parents told me until they were echoed by my youth minister or a speaker. I definitely respected and loved my parents but hearing it from another source had more impact.
Now my youth group isn't typical. We have 10-15 students. Half of them have parents on church leadership and half of them have parents who don't even know Christ.
I think student ministry is vital. I have seen the ways it impacts my own students, especially the ones who don't have Christian parents. We do try to inform the parents on what we're learning/studying as we begin new things. And our entire church goes through the same sunday school curriculum so that parents and students are learning the same things and can discuss them later.
Sorry for this ridiculously long comment!